Building Trust
by musiksnob
Summary: After Vegas Night, Clare and Eli try to rebuild the trust between them.  This will be three chapters, and the rating might be overly cautious.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.**

**This story is three chapters long, and it gets a lot more lighthearted in the last two chapters. The rating might be overly cautious, as it's a little more detailed than T, but probably not quite M.**

Chapter 1

"You know, you should be more specific when you say you're going to the library. I went through every stack in the branch library that's two blocks from your house before I thought to come look for you here," I said, taking the seat next to Clare.

"I wasn't really looking for company," Clare said, flipping to the next page in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. "And the main library has a much better teen section."

I smirked. "But you tweeted it, so clearly you wanted someone to know where you'd be."

"What do you want, Eli?"

"I just wanted to see you. I thought you'd be at your Grandmother's house by now. When I saw you were still in Toronto, I just had to find you."

Clare put the book down and looked at me. I hoped I didn't look horrible. I didn't really sleep last night. "Mr. Simpson called my parents this morning, which caused them to have a major meltdown. So we're going to leave tomorrow to give them a chance to cool down and put their happily married faces on for Grandma."

"My Dad was out this morning, so I deleted the answering machine message. I'm sure it'll catch up with me eventually though. How much did he tell them?"

Clare sighed. "Well, they know that a guy pulled a knife on me, but that no one was stabbed. And that I set off the stink bomb and have two weeks detention. They know you were there, but they don't know how much of it was…"

"My fault."

Clare didn't say anything and started to gather her stack of books. She tried to balance all the volumes in her arms but managed to drop a few due to their glossy covers.

"Clare, I'm so sorry." I reached down to pick up the books that she dropped.

"I can't," she paused as her voice caught in her throat, and scrunched her face to try to prevent tears from leaking out of her eyes. "I can't do this here." She grabbed the books that I had picked up and stalked over to the circulation desk to check out her books. As she turned to exit, she caught my eye and nodded toward the door.

She sat down on the bench outside the library and patted the seat next to her. "It's not your fault, Eli. It was Fitz who brought the knife."

"But he was just giving me what I deserve."

Clare burst into tears. "It kills me that I said that to you. If I had known…"

"Seriously, Clare. I was a jerk. I should have let it go with Fitz. I would have it was just about me, or even Adam. But what he said about you…I never could have lived with myself if he even touched you."

She grabbed my hand and I looked at her in surprise. "I would never let that happen."

"He's not the kind of guy who takes no for an answer." My biggest fear was that he'd be successful, using violence to get what he wanted when persuasion failed.

Clare was silent again but tears still tracked down her face. I pulled my hand from hers and pulled her closer with my arm around her back.

"It's okay, Clare, it's okay." I kissed her temple. "Fitz is going to jail. And I've learned my lesson. If anyone tries to start with me, I'm going to walk away. I'm going to walk right over to you and I'm going to look into your eyes and I'm going to not care about anything else but you."

She went rigid in my arms and I pulled back to look at her. "Clare, what's…?"

"I don't think I can do this."

I felt a pain in his heart that I wasn't sure would ever go away. "Clare, I need you."

"Well, I need you too. And yesterday I thought I was going to lose you. And now you're here but it still feels like you're gone. I don't know how to make things work between us. I feel like I barely know you. You're this guy who just came into my life, tore everything up and never even told me anything about yourself. And I don't know how I can feel so much for you if I don't even know who you are. Because right now, I don't trust you. And I can't be with you if I don't trust you."

I had managed to keep from crying in the face of Fitz's knife, but Clare's words cut so deep that I couldn't stop the tears. "Please, tell me what I can do. I can't lose you, Clare."

She reached up and wiped away my tears. "Tell me everything."

I sniffed. "I don't know where to start."

"We've got two weeks of break. Why don't you call me every night after nine? We can get to know each other better."

"Why after nine?"

"I don't have that many cell phone minutes but I get free nights."

"I'll call you every night Clare. Whatever it takes."

Clare stood up and grabbed her tote bag full of books. "I should go."

I jumped up. "Let me drive you. That's a lot of books to carry on the bus and it's freezing out."

"Okay."

The ride in Morty was silent aside from my depressing music mix. When we pulled up outside her house, Clare reached for the handle, and I grabbed her arm.

"Clare," I whispered. "I'm going to make this work. It's going to bad enough not seeing you for two weeks. I'm not going to lose this."

She looked into my eyes and I could tell she realized I was being sincere. She leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Eli."

I watched her walk up her front steps and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.**

Chapter 2

I was lying in bed, staring at my clock. 8:53.

It was the first Friday night of break and I hadn't seen Clare since the morning after Vegas Night.

For the past five nights, I have called her each day at 9 p.m. on the dot. We haven't gotten off the phone before midnight even once. At first it was really awkward, since neither of us really talk on the phone anymore, preferring to IM or text message, and it felt like things between us were really bad.

But as our conversations went on I could tell Clare was feeling more comfortable with me. I told her everything she wanted to know, about being bullied as a child, about my mom's death and my father's semi-abusive neglect, and how Julia and I got together and everything went so wrong.

I was starting to run out of depressing past stories to tell her, which was a good thing because every night I would make her cry. And I hated it, especially when a certain memory would bring tears to my eyes as well, and I wasn't able to be there for her.

Last night, I really got her to open up to me. She told me about her sister Darcy who had gone through a rough time and then moved to Africa to do relief work. She was really mad at her sister for abandoning her, since she never made an effort to stay in touch. She told me that she had dated K.C. last year (I don't know how I managed to miss finding out about that at school) and that he had dumped her for Jenna. I couldn't believe that guy. Not only did he dump the greatest girl in school, but he somehow managed to outdick himself by knocking up Jenna and refusing to help her.

I even had to tell her what had happened to Alli on Vegas Night. Adam had snuck out of his house to hang out with me one afternoon (his mother no longer approved of me once she found out I was involved in the knife incident) and he told me how Drew had cheated. (I know Drew and Adam are close, but I really don't like that guy. The only good thing about Mrs. Torres's disapproval is I won't have to spend much time with him in order to see Adam.) Clare immediately hung up to call Alli but she didn't answer so she called me back. She got a text from her later saying she didn't want to talk, and I know Clare was really worried about her.

She didn't talk much about her parents, but since I could occasionally hear them fighting outside her door, and I had seen her Dad's car back at their house when I passed on my way to the Dot, I knew things weren't great.

My eyes drifted back to my alarm clock for the fifth time and I realized it was 9.

"Hi Eli," Clare answered.

"Hey, beautiful." I was always flirty with her but somehow the distance made it even easier to say the things I my mind. I knew her well enough that I could picture her reactions and it made me smile to think of her blushing cheeks.

"So what's the topic of conversation for tonight?"

"Well, I think we've pretty much exhausted every sad and depressing life event we have gone through, so maybe we should focus on happier times."

"Sounds good. My eyes can use a rest from all the crying."

"Mine too."

"Well, what happy thing would you like to know?" Clare asked.

"Hmmm…" Where can I go with this? "So what are you wearing?"

"Eli!"

"I'm serious. I can't see you and it's hard to get a clear mental picture without the full information."

"I'm wearing pajamas."

"Well there are lots of different kind of pajamas, so I'm going to need a little more information than that."

"Blue pajamas."

"And what exactly do these pajamas consist of?"

"Shorts and a tank top."

"Thick straps or thin straps?"

"This is a really detailed picture you're imagining."

Oh Clare, you have no idea. "Yes, and I don't want to get anything wrong."

She laughed. "Thin straps."

That probably means… "Bra or no bra?"

"I'm not telling you that." Which totally means no bra. Which totally means…wow.

"This is a very nice picture."

"Well then I need a picture of you."

I smirked. "Well, I'm wearing what I usually wear to bed."

"And what might that be?"

"Just a pair of boxers."

I could hear her swallow and silently congratulated myself for getting under her skin. She didn't say anything so I asked, "Need any more information or is the picture in your head clear enough?"

"Oh, I think it's good enough, thanks. Aren't you cold without a shirt on?"

"I'm already snuggled under the covers. I get hot when I sleep."

"Ugh, so do I and my grandmother keeps the heat in this house jacked up to the point where it's unbearable."

"Ah, so you might need to lose those pajamas. You know, just to be comfortable."

I could practically feel Clare's eyes rolling through the phone. "Yeah, I wouldn't want to be uncomfortable."

"Your laptop doesn't have a webcam, does it?"

"Wow, Eli. I know my pjs are sexy, but I don't think you need to see them that badly."

I didn't know whether it was better to be a horny jerk or a sap, so I told her the truth. "I just miss seeing you, Clare. It's been almost a week."

"Well, my laptop does have a webcam, but my grandmother doesn't have wireless and my parents are sleeping in her spare bedroom that she uses as an office. So that's not going to work. Maybe during the day sometime this week we could do that."

"But then you won't be wearing your sexy pajamas."

"But don't I always look sexy?" Clare giggled.

"Okay, you got me there."

"I can't believe there is another whole week before I get to come home. I've really been enjoying these phone calls, but I can't wait to see you." Clare hadn't officially said we were still together, but from this sentence I finally let out a sigh of relief that we had worked things out well enough that she still wanted to be with me.

"Oh yeah, what are you going to do when you see me?"

"Eli, that sounded really dirty."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, it didn't have to be dirty, but I see that's where your mind went first."

"It wasn't."

"Uh huh. You don't have to lie, Clare. You know you want me."

She laughed. "Oh Eli."

"Seriously, if I walked into your room right now, what would you do?"

I could hear her get up and move around her room. "You're not actually outside, are you?"

"As much as I'd love to make a sweeping grand romantic gesture, your Grandmother lives six hours away and there's no chance that Morty will make it that far."

"Too bad." Too bad is right.

"Don't avoid the question. If I walked into your room right now, what would you do?"

"I would kiss you."

Wow. I didn't expect Clare to be so direct. "What kind of kiss?"

"Do you remember that kiss in the school library?"

I would never forget that kiss in the school library. "Yeah."

"Every bit as intense, but a whole lot longer."

I almost forgot to breathe for a second. "Wow. That sounds amazing." I grinned, remembering. "Sounds like you're going to ace your French exam."

Clare laughed. "I can't believe I said that. You just surprised me so much when you kissed me, my brain didn't have time to catch up."

It came as a surprise to me too. I mean, I wanted to kiss her every time I saw her, but I was trying to wait until I was sure I was ready. But when I found out she set off the stink bomb to protect me and Adam I knew that I didn't have to worry about hurting her. And even though the next thing I did was totally hurt her, I knew it was the right thing to do to kiss her and try to make this work with her.

"Okay, so you're kissing me," I said, trying to drag her back into the fantasy. "Where are we?"

"I just pulled you onto my bed."

"Am I on top of you?"

"No, I'm on top." Wow.

"Alright, I just need a little more information before this picture is complete. Where are my hands right now?"

"Where do you want them to be?"

I laughed. "I'm not sure you want to hear the answer to that."

"You'd be surprised." I raised my eyebrow but didn't say anything. "If you put them somewhere I don't want, I'll let you know."

"Well, I think I'd start by running them down your back until I reached the hem of your tank top. I'd run my fingers lightly against your back, just barely touching your skin."

I could hear her breathing increase through the phone. Where exactly were we going with this? Were we actually going to have phone sex? Not that I'd mind, of course, but I sort of expected I might get to have more than two kisses with a girl before we did this.

"Mine are running through your hair, and then I'd trail one finger down your neck and into the collar of your shirt."

"That sounds nice." I was hoping she'd continue because I didn't trust myself to say something that wouldn't piss her off.

"And I'd follow my finger with my lips, kissing down your neck and sucking gently."

I smirked. "Are you going to give me a hickey?"

"Not where people could see. What kind of girl would they think I am?" I could picture Clare looking at me with her usually innocent eyes and wished she would describe taking my shirt off and marking me with her lips.

"Hmm, I don't know. A girl with a vampire fetish and a sexy boyfriend."

She giggled. I was glad she seemed to be enjoying herself and thought I'd see if I could push this a little farther.

"Well, when you're finished with your vampire biting, I'm going to use my lips on your neck, and run my fingers over your collarbone, pulling your strap down off your shoulder."

Clare let out a sound that sounded like a moan. I had to adjust myself in my boxers after hearing that. The only thing that would be sexier is if she cried out my name. She didn't say anything so I continued. "Then I'd move my hands back down to your waist, run my hands up the smooth skin of your back and pull up on your shirt, hoping desperately that you'd let me take it off."

"I would let you," Clare said breathily.

I groaned. "Clare, we've got to stop this."

She laughed. "We're not even in the same room. Nothing's going to happen."

"But if I hear you say this stuff, I'm going to want this to happen. And I'm afraid I'm going to push you and I don't want to do that. I care about you. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"Well, I'm not uncomfortable. I'm a little embarrassed that I'm talking dirty to you on the phone. But Eli, if you were here and you were kissing me and you tried to take off my shirt, I would let you. And I'd blush and try to cover myself because I've never let a guy see that side of me before, but I'd do it because I really want to share that with you."

"Really?" I couldn't believe she would want to do that with me.

"Really."

I laughed. "For the first time in my life, I wish I had a better car."

"Oh, but think of all the fun times, we can have in Morty once I get home."

"Clare Edwards, you are blowing my mind here."

"I don't know why you think I'm so innocent. You were there for that kiss. Both kisses, really, even if Adam was there for the first one."

They were pretty mind blowing. "Yeah, but kissing is one thing. I mean, you wear a purity ring."

"Well, I'm not planning on having sex with you."

"Ever?" I teased.

"Sure, if we're married."

"That sounds like the Clare I know and…like." I know that I love her, but I'm not quite ready to tell her, especially not as a joke. I want to make sure she feels the same way before I put that out there.

"But there's a lot of stuff between kissing and sex. And _some_ of that is stuff I'm ready and willing to do."

"You know this is all I'm going to be thinking about between now and next week, right?"

She giggled. "Me too."


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.**

**This is the last chapter in this story. Thanks for reading!**

Chapter 3

Clare said she'd be home around 5, so I waited until 5:30 before I headed over. I didn't really want to have to meet her parents, especially after the knife incident. She was already sitting on the porch, waiting for me. I turned off the car and took off my seat belt, but she was already opening the door and climbing in.

She looked just like I remembered her, all curly hair and curves, but there was something in her eyes that was new. I leaned over to kiss her but she put her hand on my chest, and pushed me back lightly. "Just drive."

"Well, hello to you too," I joked as a turned the car back on.

"My parents have been in the same house for half an hour, after not being together for over a week and they are already fighting. Considering the only thing they agree on is you being a bad influence on me, I think we just need to get out of here."

"Where do you want to go?"

Clare paused for a second and I took my eyes off the road to look at her. She had a smirk on her face that looked awfully familiar. "Somewhere we can be alone."

I raised an eyebrow. "My dad's out to dinner with his girlfriend. They won't be back until late."

"Sounds perfect."

I reached over for her hand, running my thumb over her finger. I pulled into my driveway, took my seat belt off, but didn't open the door. I looked at her and her eyes were shining. I placed my hand on her arm and tried to pull her closer but she just laughed and reached for the door handle. "You can't wait until we get inside?"

I practically ran up the stairs and opened the door. Grabbing her hand, I pulled her inside and up the stairs into my room. I had barely gotten the door closed when her lips were on mine.

We had only kissed twice before, for the Romeo and Juliet project and when I surprised her in the library, so I didn't really know how Clare would react in an actual make out situation. I was surprised at how aggressive she was. She pulled me over to the bed and lay down on top of me, just like she had described on our phone call.

I didn't want to be presumptuous so I pulled my lips away. "Clare," I was a little out of breath. "Should we talk about this?"

"We've spent two weeks talking," she said, trailing her lips down my neck. When she kissed the spot where my neck met my collarbone, and opened her mouth slightly, running her tongue against me, I knew the time for talking was over.

I pulled her back up to lips and kissed her, tangling her tongue in mine. She ran her hands down my stomach and pulled my hem of my shirt up slightly, so her fingers were on my skin right above the button on my jeans. I moaned as I imagined her moving her hand down just a few inches and touching me.

I remembered our conversation. I wonder if that offer still stood, that if I was with her and we were kissing, and I tried to take off her shirt, she would let me. I couldn't tell if it that was just something she said when I was far away and it was safe. I thought I'd test the waters, by moving my hand slightly up her shirt, leaving it in the same position her hand was on me. Her skin felt so soft and I just wanted to feel her pressed against me.

She didn't stop me and if anything her kisses just got more heated so I knew I was on the right track. I slipped my hands around to her back and moved them up, pulling her shirt with me. I could feel her take a deep breath against me.

"Clare, we don't have to do anything…" but she cut me off, by kissing me deeply. I pulled on her shirt in earnest and she sat up just long enough to pull it off. She collapsed back on top of me so quickly that I didn't really get to see her, but I could feel her breasts pressed against me, and that was really nice. I moved my mouth back to her neck and opened my eyes, peering down her back at the hooks on her bra. We hadn't really talked about that in our phone call, since I knew she wasn't wearing one at the time.

I gave it a few minutes, but I really wanted to see her, so I moved my hand to the back of her bra. She didn't protest, so I attempted to unhook it. Once upon a time I had been pretty good at that, but I was out of practice, so it took a couple tries. I spread the straps away from each other, and moved my hands over her whole back without impediment. I moved the straps down her arm and looked into her eyes.

She smirked at me and I gave her a genuine smile. She pulled herself up and her bra fell away. She didn't cover herself like she said she might and I got to see her. I couldn't hold back and my hands immediately cupped her. I ran my fingers over her nipples and Clare moaned.

I flipped us over so she was on her back and I was leaning over her. I kissed her while I kept touching her everywhere, from her breasts to her hips to her ass. I pulled her leg around me and pressed myself into her.

I wanted to feel her closer against me so I pulled off my shirt. Clare had already had her hands under it though she hadn't made a move to take it off so I glanced at her to make sure it was okay. Her eyes were already on me. I wasn't really muscled or anything, but she seemed to like what she saw. She ran her finger across my nipple and it felt so good that I did the same to her. It immediately hardened and I couldn't help but take it into my mouth and run my tongue over it. She pulled my bottom half closer by tightening both legs around me and if it weren't for the layers of clothes between us I was in exactly the right position to slip inside her.

I pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Not quite yet," she said.

I knew she didn't want to have sex, but other than that things were pretty fuzzy. She had made all the first moves but then seemed to slow down. I was fine staying with where were at now if that's what she wanted but it was hard to tell. Her legs were tight around me and every now and then it felt like she was trying to grind herself against me. I was rock hard against her but she didn't seem to mind.

I pulled back and knelt between her legs. I put my hand on the button of her jeans. She looked at me with wide eyes and I couldn't quite figure out what she was thinking. I realized that what I wanted to know from her didn't really have anything to do with sex, so I pulled my hand away and backed away from her slightly.

Clare sat up and she moved her arm across her body, covering her breasts for the first time. "Eli?"

"Do you trust me?"

I could see that she was confused, and that she thought I was asking if she trusted me to go farther and while I wouldn't mind an answer to that question, that wasn't really why I was asking. "When we were at the library you told me you couldn't be with me because you didn't trust me. I've spent the last two weeks telling you everything I can about myself and I just need to know."

She moved her arm away from herself and wrapped it around my neck. "Eli, I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't trust you."

"Are you sure, Clare? Because I am all in here. I've never felt like this before and I couldn't stand it if you changed your mind."

Clare kissed my cheek. "As long as you stop looking for trouble, I don't think there's anything you could do to get rid of me."

I held her in my arms, and kissed her temple. It seemed like the passionate moment between us had passed, and I lay down and pulled her next to me. We were silent for a while, lightly rubbing our hands over each others' arms, backs and stomachs.

"So Clare," I smirked at her. "Did this live up to your wildest phone call fantasies?"

She blushed and didn't respond, but she kissed me again and I knew the reality blew all of my dreams out of the water.


End file.
